Patience and Perseverance

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, twenty-some-odd years ago I spent most of my time painting and I believed that this was what I would do for the rest of my life.  However, as a result of the twists and turns that life always has in store for us, I had to put it all aside and began working at a company that was in no way related to art. During the years I spent away from my art I kept dreaming of the day when I would be able to come back again and I thought – very naively of me – that it would be a matter of picking up where I had left off. Boy! Was I in for a surprise!!!

A few days ago I began what I now know is a process – I’m not sure how long it will take – to begin painting again. With great expectations I installed my easel, placed my paper on a board and, charcoal stick in hand, I faced one of my sculptures which I had placed as a model to draw. Suddenly I realized that there was absolutely no coordination between my eyes, my hands, the charcoal and the paper!!! I could see the lines, shapes, lights and shadows but as my hands were moving the charcoal over the paper the results had nothing to do with what I could see.

What followed was an exercise in humility and perseverance. After hours of continuous efforts – and of overcoming tears of frustration – from the deepest parts of my memory and from the corresponding parts of my brain, some capabilities finally began to emerge and I was able to obtain a very modest triumph by drawing something similar to what I was looking at. I now know that it is a matter of learning again; of taking a step at a time and not of leaping forward. I have come to terms with the fact that I still have a way to go until I feel confident enough to pick up my brushes and begin to paint again and I plan to enjoy every step of the way. It’s going to be a wonderful process and I intend to fully enjoy it!!!